Things Go In Waves

This blog was originally set up to keep my friends and family informed of what I have been getting up to in England. I haven't posted since I arrived in Brighton. So let's call a spade a spade and say I failed on that front. But I kinda always knew I wouldn't keep it up.

Similarly, I don't have massive hopes for this blog. I'm using the same space as the old blog for a different purpose. This is a space for me to write the thoughts that I feel like sharing, when I feel like sharing it. I don't really know what the shape of it is going to be.

I often think of how things go in waves because I notice that pattern in my behavior. It's something I've recently come to embrace. I used to get angry with myself for not sticking with all the things that I told myself that I wanted to do, but now I feel like it is too simple a view of life to think that one can foresee at the outset of some project or direction how much it will be worth the time and effort, and how much one can sustain the interest.

Now I think of the complex and ever-shifting geography of moods, thoughts, events, and opportunities, and I find a beauty and a horror in it. Sometimes the particular meshing of all sorts of the variables of life results in a swell, sometimes a depression, sometimes a calm, sometimes a storm, and so I use the word "waves" to describe it to myself. Perhaps cynically, in this oceanic metaphor, it is on the clear days that one sees the horror of what it means to live, and one prays for a fog to shrink one's world to something bearable.

BUT! I think I'm now at the beginning of the swell of a wave. I'm preparing to make a movie in Brighton, getting mentally prepared to just dig in and do a good job. This is all I have to focus on until I return to the United States in October, at which point I will immediately start a cross-country road trip. I'll most likely be flying into Boston, and basically doing this:



I'm really excited about this trip. I've put out a request to old friends and new friends to meet up along the way, and I'm just looking forward to exploring the U.S. It feels like the right thing at the right time.

This movie that I'll be making and this U.S. trip will basically occupy me until the end of the year. Standing here at the beginning of this new wave and knowing how much it will shape me is pretty incredible. I faced a similar thing when coming from the U.S. to the UK, and it has indeed done much to form the person that I am now. I've changed very much, I think. I'm really grateful to be so excited and curious to see the person that I will be after the year is over. I really have no idea.

The only thing that has stayed the same for me in the past decade is that I know that I want to make movies.

Well, this blog post has been a bit all over the place. Hopefully I'll keep doing it.